When I read Djoni’s account as given here, I could understand at once what he was trying to bring across. We sometimes do try too hard, and we forget that our lives do not always run on clock work. More often than not, when we look back. we see how some changes are just there. We don’t even have a choice. Do we or don’t we? Can we or can’t we?
Yet, when one looks back, one immediately recognises the hand of God in the event. I have so much to be thankful for where this is concerned. Having lived more years, I guess I can more clearly see how things have happened and the results have been great. They did not always seem to be so, and we are always tempted to modify, to alter or to adjust as we think fit.
Now, years later and after so many incidents that have proven to be providential, I now take a more relaxed attitude. My prayer can be, “Lord, I don’t understand but I trust in you. I leave this in your hands and pray that you will bring it to a good end. . .”
Over to Djoni who wrote:
Ten years ago, I was “spared” from the devastating tsunami. I was supposed to go for a week-long live- aboard diving trip in the very area hit by the high tidal wave. Advice from a Thai friend made me delay the date of departure by one week. So I was stranded in Bangkok, with nothing in particular to do except being grateful for the gift of life…
Yes, how often we have been sorry that things did not happen according to our plan. Disasters have been averted and nasty things have not had a chance to take place. We can surely trust our Lord to be in full control….if we will only surrender.
And I thank God for the optimistic outlook that Djoni has. Despite the many DOWN moments we can still appreciate the UP moments and be delightfully surprised. I am so impressed with this point. It points to detachment in a powerful way, doesn’t it?
Ten years have passed and now I am being reminded again…Looking back to the passing year, it has truly been a year full of surprises. It has been a fruitful year, a year of harvest after searching and waiting for so many years. It is the first time in my life that I feel that my job IS my vocation. I no longer wish that I was somewhere else, no matter what. And I often wonder, when faced with problems, words just flow out of my mouth… and they often stun myself, too! It seems that it is not merely this Djoni who is doing this work! Perhaps this is how it feels to be used as an “instrument”?
Yet in all of this, I grow dearer with the presence of that “Empty Space” in my heart. Perhaps I have been trying very hard to “full-fill” it, from various angles until I hit the basic – then turning to what seems to be “spiritual life”. And I must say, as in everything else in my life, I worked very hard on it! I do not know precisely when and how it started, slowly I began to understand that it is simply an illusion. Empty? Be it. Perhaps, it is better.
Finally, I have to say that it is not Empty Space as in a state of having nothing. It is truly an Empty Space filled with the Presence, and He it is now who takes care of all matters. It is no longer I who live, Lord, but you who live in me. Alleluia!