Faith is something all of us rely on, even if we do not admit it. It is special and it is important especially in life’s uncertainties. Without faith, we will be fearful and anxious as sometimes our own strength is not enough. Without faith, it is easy to fall into doubt and falter in our way.
The gospel reading tells us that the disciples were behind locked doors for fear that the Jews would persecute them as they were followers of Jesus. I know fear as I face it almost everyday; there are lots of “What Ifs” in my mind. Most common is “What if I cannot do this assignment properly or get a decent grade?”
Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them,“Peace be with you. As the father has sent me, so I send you. And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained”(John 20:19-31). The presence of Jesus gave them confidence and dispelled their fears. It must have been a comforting and surreal experience for the disciples.
Thomas, one of the twelve did not believe in the Resurrection of Jesus as he was not present when Jesus appeared. He said to them,”Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe”(John 20:19-31). Many a times, we let our doubts and fears get the better of us and we do not see that Jesus is with us. Our faith in believing in the Resurrection comes from acknowledging his presence in our lives.
Sometimes, we question and seek answers to questions such as “Is God real?” or “Is religion important?”Not all questions have answers to them as this is where faith comes in. The reason is if all questions have answers, it will become facts. But God always has the element of surprise. He surprises me by getting me through the week and even the semester. All I have to do is to have faith in him.
A week passed and Jesus came, although the doors were locked. Then he said to Thomas,“Put your finger here and see my hands. and bring your hand and put it into my side and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”Thomas answered and said to him,”My Lord and my God!”Jesus said to him,”Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed”(John 20:19-31). Our hearts might be locked but Jesus still has his way of entering. None of us has seen Jesus physically but we believe that he is present in the Eucharist and it is so easy to find him. I can find him in people, my surroundings and almost in everything I come in contact with because I always keep Jesus in mind and heart.
There are good and bad days where I still falter in my faith. But, I have never strayed far away from God and I know that I need him more than ever. I cling on to the cross because though the road is far from perfect, I know that at the end of the day, I will not stop running towards Jesus.
“You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls, and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. O Fount of Life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelop the whole world and empty Yourself out upon us.
O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!”- Chaplet of Divine Mercy
Jesus, please help me and the people around me find the way to you . Please help me to always put others before myself! Amen! God Bless.
Written By: Darren Chan Keng Leong