As I Lay Broken at Mary’s Feet


The finish line. It took awhile for me to write this post because I just seem lost after all my examinations and school assignment. After all the struggles and prayers, I have completed university life and a new chapter is opening soon, which is me joining the workforce, though for starters, I will be starting on my home-ground which is school. (I think 3 years of studies is sufficient for me at this point). I am just putting my trust in faith and that the Spirit will continue to guide me in all that I set out to do and achieve.

This week’s gospel reading begins by saying,”Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. Where I am going you know the way.”Thomas said to him, “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?”

Jesus said to him, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.If you know me, then you will also know my Father. From now on you do know him and have seen him.”Philip said to him,”Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.”Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you for so long a time and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?

The words that I speak to you I do not speak on my own. The Father who dwells in me is doing his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me,or else, believe because of the works themselves.Amen, amen, I say to you,whoever believes in me will do the works that I do,and will do greater ones than these,because I am going to the Father (John 14:1-12).”

Growing up, whenever I felt a need to escape from all the pressures of the world, I would play with Lego, and those bright coloured bricks offered me the brightest moments of my childhood. It was where I could build things, basically anything. But the best part of creating anything is the stories that I make up in giving purpose to these Lego bricks and figurines.

One of the best parts would be to build a Lego house because the figurines would need somewhere to rest and not only sleep in their space vehicles. A house plays a huge role in our lives as it offers us shelter, solace and a place to lay our heads. Similarly, Jesus has promised that he has gone to prepare a place for us in the Father’s house. It is with great joy and anticipation to be united with Jesus in the Father’s house where there will be no more running, suffering or pain.

But for now, the work is not done yet as our earthly journey continues and for me, I think that Jesus has called everyone to build houses in the form of support and strength for people around us, and that is, to shelter the less fortunate, the homeless and all things of God’s creation that needs it, including animals if possible.

Playing with Lego bricks has its drawbacks such as when you accidentally drop the piece that you spent days making and when the problem is to re-assemble them back again- it takes up more time, and especially if there is no instruction manual, I can never fix the same design back again.

I feel broken this past week because of the impending high stakes of responsibility of kickstarting my career and not be overly reliant on my parents. It just seemed like an empty void being cast over me, like a shadow that will not go away. I am like these thoughts “What now?” and “Where do I go from here?” But I know like what the humble Lego brick has taught me, and sometimes better designs do come out of the absence of instruction manuals. You could say that  it is where creativity and imagination collide to make a wonderful creation.

In my brokenness and weakness, I turn to our dearest Mother Mary because last week was the celebration of the Novena to our Lady of Fatima. She is the mother who will comfort and console all her children in times of sorrow, sufferings and hopelessness.

“Most Holy Virgin, who has deigned to come to Fatima to reveal to the three little shepherds the treasures of graces hidden in the recitation of the Rosary, inspire our hearts with sincere love of this devotion.  

By meditating on the mysteries of our redemption that are recalled in your Rosary, may we gather the fruits contained therein and obtain the conversion of sinners, the conversion of Russia, the Peace of Christ for the world, and this favor that I so earnestly seek of you in this novena….(here mention your request)

I ask this of you, for the greater glory of God, for your own honor and for the good of all people. Amen

Say the
Our Father,
Hail Mary
Glory Be (three times each)”

Dearest Jesus and Mother Mary, please continue to guide us your sons and daughters who, though imperfect and sinful, do try and make amends by seeking forgiveness and in our dire situations, give us courage and strength coupled with the clarity of mind to make the right choices. Continue to bless us with good health and mind and in good and bad days, guide us to never lose the way for us to stay true to the Way,the Truth and the Life. Mother Mary, intercede for us, and St Joseph, pray for us! God Bless!

Written By: Darren Chan Keng Leong



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