don’t like callings too much especially those persistent tugs to the heart, beseeching us to look into this cause or that cause or another….. but once you have committed to walking on this road of faith, you have already made a decision to lay down your life to serve God your Master… kinda different from the days when your journey does not center around your Master but yourself – you were plain unaware or insensitive to any calls to serve Him.
nevertheless, I still don’t like callings too much.. because I certainly don’t know what kinds of callings I will be given… but to escape from such commitments… I thought I was smart enough to run away from those.. I thought I knew what to do…. those callings that arise from the inner self — darned easy to ignore and regard as flights of imagination… even despite their repeated re-emergence in the thoughts and hearts…
But God… You were smarter than me… instead, you choose to send those callings through people I am in contact with… through actual cries or invitation to help. You know those are the calls that will really affect me.. and that those are the calls that will bug me the most…. I can’t say no, if I already know deep in my heart that I can and have the abilities, the capabilities to serve that specific needs. If I know I have to say yes, perhaps I should despite my misforgivings and doubts.
My Master, I pray that I have made the right decision.. as what your Son Jesus said, “Thy will be Done on earth as it is in heaven” So, Lord, I lay down at your feet — thy will be done… I will just do my best.. *sigh*.